“How did you get that hair under your arms?”

Welcome to your latest installment of thought-provoking questions kids ask me. When kids ask, it’s usually genuine surprise – they actually do not realize that most people grow hair all over their bodies. Why would they? If their only models of adolescent/adult cis-gender women are people who remove all the visible hair other than what’s on their scalp, how would they know? I was lucky to be raised by women who discussed body changes openly and honestly with me since I was very young, but I imagine it’s a surprise to many children when they begin to grow body hair, the way it is a surprise to some young people when they start menstruating. The interesting thing to me is that kids do not tend to see it as something bad, just sometimes interesting if it’s outside of their experience. “Why do you have hair,” a non-judgemental genuine question of curiosity, is related to but different from the question I get asked by older people. Why is the default to ask “Why don’t you shave,” when no one ever asks “Why do you?”

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